


Pineapple

by misbehavingvigilante



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Food Service, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900 are Twins, Crack, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-02 07:32:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18806587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misbehavingvigilante/pseuds/misbehavingvigilante
Summary: In which Hank owns a restaurant, Niles helps Connor gets a job there and Gavin eats there a lot.Or a Spongebob Squarepants AU.





	Pineapple

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Helasdottir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helasdottir/gifts).



> Okay this is more an inspired by Spongebob AU than a straight AU but it is still very much a Spongebob Squarepants AU. You know why this exists. 
> 
> I also refer to Nines as Niles because that's what my friend does. Also based on this [tweet](https://twitter.com/imadevaint/status/1126827874034388992).
> 
> Enjoy!

Connor is older than him so Niles isn’t exactly sure how he’s still so optimistic. Granted, he’s not older than him by very much, the merit of being twins had seen to that. Still, the raw optimism alone made Niles feel a little guilty.

Had he somehow mislead Connor into believing this was a dream job? Or was his brother just that much of an idiot?

But until now, Connor had a job but when that hadn’t panned out, it had sent him scrambling. Niles, ever helpful, suggested he knew a place and Connor had jumped at the chance as if he hadn’t been the one that Niles bitched to constantly about how demeaning and demanding working in proximity to customers could be.

But it wasn’t like Hank would say no. He really wasn’t in the best financial standing to turn down anyone who was willingly to work for him. Grizzly and jaded Hank wasn’t a bad man, per se, but the restaurant business was relentless and without sympathy.

Niles had memorized the statistics enough to know that Hank was an outlier, somehow surviving the odds thus far when in reality, his restaurant should have failed already.

So in the end, it’s really a hell of his own making.

Connor chattered at his side, out of nervous energy no doubt, but it wasn’t like as he already told Connor, if only Connor listened for once in his life, he would not get turned away. He’d already told Hank about Connor though surprisingly, he didn’t think the two of them had run into each other as of yet. Hank knew of Connor, he hadn’t made a secret of his twin though they held themselves rather differently so despite the similarities, people tended to be able to tell who was who without question.

Niles lead Connor the employees only section knowing that Hank would like to greet Connor beforehand, even though he suspected that Connor who be shadowing him for this evening. He hoped no one had enough to drink today or else they might get proposed for a threesome again.

That was just incredibly awkward.

“This is my brother, Connor.” Niles pointed to Connor aside him. “Connor, this is my boss Mr. Anderson though he’ll insist you call him Hank.”

Niles would have preferred the emotional distance of referring to Hank by his last name alone, but it seemed to irritate Hank, the few first days where he had again and again used his last name to respond to him that eventually Niles relented. He hadn’t actually wanted to lose a job for something so slight, though he didn’t see why it was a big deal to Hank. Perhaps, it had something to do with the illusion of trying to be friend and not boss, though Hank did still have to be the boss.

Someone had to run the business, after all.

“Does he always look like that?” Hank asked, a raised eyebrow on his face, not quite marred by concern more confusion than anything else.

Niles had a sinking feeling in his stomach. He glanced towards Connor to see what the issue was, recognizing the floundered look on his twin’s face as the same one Connor got when his internal thought process shut down and could only spit out things like ‘him big’. Oh god, Connor’s size kink was out of control, he had hoped Hank wouldn’t have been Connor’s type, hoping the sting of losing his previous job would have been enough to distract him. But apparently not.

“He came out of the womb first because my umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. We believed he suffered some minor brain damage from the incident.” Niles said diplomatically, as tempting as it would have been to throw Connor under the bus, he knew the best time to find a job was while you still had one so he wouldn’t risk it at the moment. “Don’t worry, he can still perform any duties I can, just not as well as I can.”

“Niles!” That snapped Connor out of it, who had an offended note to his tone as well as a flash of hurt across his features.

Niles shrugged. “Am I wrong?”

“Right, right.” Hank said wisely interrupting the two of them from ribbing it each other even more because you weren’t siblings, if you didn’t roast them at any and all occasions. Hank stepped forward, clasping a hand onto Connor’s shoulder in a welcoming gesture. “Welcome to the team, Connor.”

“I-yes, thank you sir!”

Niles bit back a choking sound by biting his cheek ensuring it was subdued entirely, just barely, years of restraint, and a poker face had not failed him yet. He always knew Connor would be his downfall but he never imagined his levels of disaster gay were this high.

Hank blinked, not pulling his hand back from Connor’s shoulder but instead grasping it more. “You don’t have to call me that, kid. Just Hank is fine.”

“Hank.” Connor nodded overly so like he was a bobble head, it came out a bit breathlessly but Hank seemed to chalk it up to nerves.

It was not nerves but Niles wasn’t having that kind of conservation with Hank. He was going to steal one of the nicer bottle of wines, this job owed him for the undue stress. “I’ll show him what needs to get done so you can get back to work.”

“You’re efficient as always.” Hank said, leaving with that, thank god.

Niles glared deeply and darkly at Connor when the larger man was finally out of set. “Connor, listen to me, get your shit together, or so help me if you ruin this for me. I will put that footage up on the internet when you were thirteen.”

“You said you weren’t recording!” Connor whined, high pitched and distress, unfortunately for him, it had no effect on Niles.

“And you always were too naïve.”

With that said, things go well for a little bit because Connor does need to know, and Niles is relentless in imparting the necessary fact he’ll need so that eventually they can work different shifts instead of doubling up until Connor learns the ropes.

Naturally, things began to fall apart for the second time today and this time, it’s Gavin’s fault.

Niles doesn’t know why the man eats here all the time, there are plenty of other restaurants, he always snips with Hank anytime the two of them come across each other, Gavin has and will get into arguments with other patrons.

To put it bluntly, Gavin is a menace.

Gavin is also his problem, since the wait staff deemed him the only one who had the temperament to not only deal with Gavin but coax him out of his worse moods. Somehow, his general disinterest, and impasse face seemed to work like magic on Gavin.

It helped that Gavin was an attractive menace, though in the unconventional sort. He had a scar unevenly bisecting his nose, it was raised and obvious not something that had faded into his face, that could be overlooked unless you were right in front of him.

Niles wanted nothing more than run his fingers across that, gentle because Gavin looked like the kind of man who would start crying if you were gentle to him. Niles bet Gavin looked beautiful when he cried.

“Niles.” Connor asked aside of him. “What were you saying? You said something was the height of stupidity but I didn’t hear it over the dishes.”

Niles had been going around the tables, making Connor collect the dishes of former patrons who had just left chiding him when he picked up something wrong or when the sound was excessive or when it looked like he might break something.

“Hm.” Niles paused to consider this. He had been going somewhere with his rant, but then his eyes swept over Gavin. “Gavin, how tall are you?”

Gavin looked surprised that’s what Niles had asked him, but surprisingly he answered nonetheless. “5’9? Why?”

“That, dear brother, is the height of stupidity.”

“Height of stupidity?” Gavin growled, familiar anger washing over his face again before it faded when he noticed Connor. “Wait, there are two of you?” Gavin looked between Niles and Connor, his attention naturally falling back onto him because why would it linger on Connor.

Connor however didn’t take this as a moment to introduce himself as Niles would have expected, no, Connor was surprisingly quiet. Niles glanced over, and Connor met his eyes with a mischievous look in his eyes as if he had just figured out something.

Shit.

He shouldn’t have insulted Gavin in front of Connor, Connor knew he tended to insult publicly and pine privately.

“Connor-“ Niles tried.

“So, Gavin, was it? Have you known my brother long? I always wonder about him, he’s such a loner.”

“He does have that kind of vibe.” Gavin agreed. “But it’s a nice vibe.”

Niles narrowed his eyes, this was an unholy union he couldn’t allow to pass. Apparently he would be having a conservation with Hank today about Connor’s strange behavior after all.

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna chat, I'm on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/thiefoftruth26).


End file.
